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Untouchable - Criminal Minds - Gen (Dave Rossi, Spencer Reid) - Words: 2,080
Written for Angst Bingo; Prompt: Starvation
Summary: Dave Rossi makes a mistake regarding Spencer Reid as he learns what it means to be part of a team.
Content Notes: None. PG
On AO3: Untouchable
It had taken Dave a little while to figure it out, longer than it should have, but then he'd assumed that he was working with a group of very intelligent people and could trust them to know about their own team. And they were smart, each of them in their own unique ways, but evidently hadn't taken the time to take a closer look at each other either. He understood that, on some level. To look too closely at the people they worked with, that they trusted with their lives on a regular basis, would be to sabotage any chance at a comfortable working relationship. They would see too much, know too much, and everyone would raise their shields in response.
Or, maybe, that was the problem already. All of the team members, and Dave would freely admit to being guilty of this, kept as much of themselves locked away as possible; only allowing those brief moments of vulnerability when they didn't have a choice. A part of Dave dreaded those cases, the ones that left a member of the team without their shell, their inner workings and secrets horrifically exposed for them all to see, even if it was just for a few moments while they pulled themselves back together. But he was partially grateful for it too, because time and again someone would step up and give the person a chance to work through it, and at the end of the case, no one looked at each other any different. Dave didn't know too many people that could just accept the fact that they all had secrets, messy and complicated secrets, and leave it at that.
What he couldn't understand was why the rest of the team had let it go on for so long, especially since they obviously cared about Reid. When Dave had first met Reid, his mind had immediately categorized the kid as the weak link, the one who didn't have the inner strength to last in the field for any length of time. A few cases later, he realized that he'd missed a lot by judging by Reid's exterior and his shield of knowledge, and that Reid was well aware of that effect and used it to his advantage, even with the rest of the team.
As it became more obvious to Dave, the longer he looked, that not only was Reid competent in the field, it also became more obvious that Reid was suffering. Not the loud and immediate kind of suffering, the open and festering mental wounds that he could see at the edges of Hotch's psyche, nor the scabbed over but still prominent pain and grief that Morgan carried with him, but a quiet yet persistent damage that had been there for so long that Reid seemed entirely unaware that it was even there.
The first time Dave really spotted it, the moment where all the pieces tumbled into a rough picture - a jigsaw that wasn't solved yet but the edges of the image could be clearly defined - was when a detective had shaken hands with Reid and held on perhaps a moment or two longer than necessary. Reid didn't shake hands often, he didn't actively touch other people when he could help it and maintained a certain distance between himself and others even within the team. It didn't take a genius to see that. But, what Dave hadn't realized until that moment was that Reid didn't stop others from touching him either. As the detective shook Reid's hand, his hand practically enveloping Reid's, Reid was looking down at where their skin was touching. Dave had expected an expression of discomfort or even anxiety, but instead found that Reid was focused and almost curious. When the detective moved away, greeting the rest of the team as he ran through what had already been found, Reid had stayed put, the fingers of his other hand coming up to touch the hand that had been held. His hands clasped together for a moment, mimicking the way the detective had held Reid's hand, before something that the detective was saying caught Reid's attention and he bounded into the conversation in a flurry of statistics and facts.
Dave watched Reid even more carefully after that, noting how Reid accepted the occasional hand on the shoulder from Morgan, or the rarer embrace from Garcia. After each, Reid would pause and seem to process the contact. Whether Reid was simply storing the memory of the touch away somewhere in his incredible mind, or something more complicated, Dave could only guess.
After learning a little more about Reid's family and upbringing, Dave made the connections easily enough. Lack of social skills, or at least social skills that weren't useful in catching serial killers, unstable family and educational environment, and an inability to settle in where he could make more connections outside of a select few people had probably left Reid with very few opportunities to learn how to initiate physical contact or encounter situations where physical contact was appropriate. The isolation had probably only been increased due to the age difference between him and his peers both academically and professionally.
Touch deprivation, or skin hunger as he'd seen it called in more recent literature, was something that Dave was only starting to understand. Between his last divorce and coming back to the FBI, he'd found himself alone more often than he'd been since his first time as a profiler, and even more so sometimes. Now that he'd gotten more adjusted to working with a team he wouldn't go back to the lone-wolf style hunting for anything, but it still meant that their trips were short and frequent leaving them little time to have anything resembling a settled life in their homes near Quantico and no opportunity to make connections in the places they visited. For someone like Reid, who went straight from university to the FBI Academy to the BAU, Dave imagined there had never been a chance for the kid to even try to have a relationship in which he'd feel comfortable giving and receiving touch.
There was a fairly simple solution to the problem, for both of them, and David implemented it immediately. He got to know Reid a little better, though it was usually a task all of itself to get Reid off whatever subject had grabbed his attention after he'd swallowed and regurgitated a fact book on it and talk about himself for a change, and he started sitting next to him on the jet or during meetings. He partnered up with Reid more often, which was usually accomplished by standing close to Reid while Hotch was handing out assignments and by making it clear that he didn't mind partnering with the kid.
The physical touch aspect of his pet project he initiated slowly, starting with the gentle knee nudges and hands on the shoulder that he'd seen Morgan supply on occasion. Dave invited Reid over for dinner a few times, taking the opportunity to touch Reid's hand when passing things across the table or when instructing him in how to properly sauté onions. On these occasions Reid had looked at Dave, not quite frowning but with a sense of unsettled curiosity that left Dave even more sure that he was doing the right thing if Reid wasn't comfortable having dinner with someone. And, it was nice for Dave, if he was being completely honest with himself; someone in the kitchen with him and someone to talk with about their day was something that he was only starting to realize how much he'd relied on having.
About a month after Rossi had put his plan into action, determined that he would help Reid with his craving for physical touch, they had a case that left everyone hurting and unsettled. The physical damage was the least of it, Morgan with burn marks up the side of his arm and Prentiss with an ugly gash on her forehead, but everyone was out of the emergency room within a few hours if still shaken from the explosion. But watching an unsub kill himself and two hostages while the team stood helpless had taken a toll on all of them. Their victories were always diminished by the lives that had already been lost before they were called in and an outright defeat was always bad for morale.
Reid had withdrawn almost as soon as they were certain that Morgan and Prentiss were alright, the rest of the team standing in a waiting room at the hospital. Hotch and JJ had hurried away after they'd received the news, ready to help the local police department handle the rest of the situation. When Dave looked around the room he found Reid standing tucked away in a corner, his arms wrapped tightly around his torso and his expression fixed. The self-hug that Reid was giving himself was painful for Dave to watch and he walked over, intent on providing the comfort that Reid so clearly needed. Reid's body was rigid when Dave wrapped his arms around him and all the muscles in Reid's back and shoulders seemed to tighten and close in on themselves as Dave pulled him closer and held on.
Dave waited patiently, hoping that Reid would eventually relax and accept the hug and comfort that was being offered, but when Reid used his arms that were still trapped in between their bodies to hesitantly increase the space between them Dave took the hint and released him. Reid's expression was almost a caricature of alarm and discomfort and when Reid looked away as he mumbled something about going to check on Morgan, Dave stepped aside and let him pass. When Reid continued to avoid him on the flight home, instead sitting next to Hotch and peppering him with questions about a case that Hotch had worked as an attorney on, Dave decided that he'd moved too quickly and should have gone for an arm around Reid's shoulder instead of a full hug.
Two days later, when JJ summoned them all up to the conference room with her arms full of files, it was readily apparent that Reid was now actively avoiding Dave. Reid, who usually barely seemed to notice where he sat, had darted to take the empty chair between Morgan and Hotch, causing Prentiss to change her trajectory so she was sitting next to Dave instead. The way Reid was effectively using Morgan as a barrier was not lost on Morgan, who was looking at Dave with suspicion. Dave suppressed a sigh and looked over the materials that JJ had provided and listened as the team came up with a preliminary profile and strategy.
They left the conference room thirty minutes later with instructions to be ready for wheels up in an hour and Dave followed Morgan and Reid out. Morgan was quietly speaking to Reid, using his elbow to gently nudge him a few times before placing his hand on Reid's shoulder. Reid looked up at that and Dave couldn't miss the relieved smile if he'd tried. Dave stood at the railing for a minute, watching as they went back to their desks and tried to figure out how exactly he'd misread the situation so completely. When he looked up, he found Hotch watching him from his office door and Dave gave him a nod of acknowledgement. Hotch waited a moment, his eyes fixed on Dave, before returning the nod and disappearing into his office.
Dave looked down again to where Reid was at his desk going over the contents of his work satchel, seemingly content to chat with Morgan from across the aisle. Whatever Reid said made Morgan break out into a grin and toss something from his desk across the space between them, it hitting Reid harmlessly in the arm and falling to the floor. Reid made a token complain and they both laughed and Dave walked away, going over in his mind the contact he'd had with Reid as he tried to decide where he should go from here.
It wasn't until three days later in Sante Fe, Dave nearly knee deep in mud and carnage, that he thought to factor his own motivation into the situation. As he stared at the dump site with pieces falling into place, he realized that he'd not only solved the case but he'd found the solution to his own question: he didn't like the answer to either.
Written for Angst Bingo; Prompt: Starvation
Summary: Dave Rossi makes a mistake regarding Spencer Reid as he learns what it means to be part of a team.
Content Notes: None. PG
On AO3: Untouchable
It had taken Dave a little while to figure it out, longer than it should have, but then he'd assumed that he was working with a group of very intelligent people and could trust them to know about their own team. And they were smart, each of them in their own unique ways, but evidently hadn't taken the time to take a closer look at each other either. He understood that, on some level. To look too closely at the people they worked with, that they trusted with their lives on a regular basis, would be to sabotage any chance at a comfortable working relationship. They would see too much, know too much, and everyone would raise their shields in response.
Or, maybe, that was the problem already. All of the team members, and Dave would freely admit to being guilty of this, kept as much of themselves locked away as possible; only allowing those brief moments of vulnerability when they didn't have a choice. A part of Dave dreaded those cases, the ones that left a member of the team without their shell, their inner workings and secrets horrifically exposed for them all to see, even if it was just for a few moments while they pulled themselves back together. But he was partially grateful for it too, because time and again someone would step up and give the person a chance to work through it, and at the end of the case, no one looked at each other any different. Dave didn't know too many people that could just accept the fact that they all had secrets, messy and complicated secrets, and leave it at that.
What he couldn't understand was why the rest of the team had let it go on for so long, especially since they obviously cared about Reid. When Dave had first met Reid, his mind had immediately categorized the kid as the weak link, the one who didn't have the inner strength to last in the field for any length of time. A few cases later, he realized that he'd missed a lot by judging by Reid's exterior and his shield of knowledge, and that Reid was well aware of that effect and used it to his advantage, even with the rest of the team.
As it became more obvious to Dave, the longer he looked, that not only was Reid competent in the field, it also became more obvious that Reid was suffering. Not the loud and immediate kind of suffering, the open and festering mental wounds that he could see at the edges of Hotch's psyche, nor the scabbed over but still prominent pain and grief that Morgan carried with him, but a quiet yet persistent damage that had been there for so long that Reid seemed entirely unaware that it was even there.
The first time Dave really spotted it, the moment where all the pieces tumbled into a rough picture - a jigsaw that wasn't solved yet but the edges of the image could be clearly defined - was when a detective had shaken hands with Reid and held on perhaps a moment or two longer than necessary. Reid didn't shake hands often, he didn't actively touch other people when he could help it and maintained a certain distance between himself and others even within the team. It didn't take a genius to see that. But, what Dave hadn't realized until that moment was that Reid didn't stop others from touching him either. As the detective shook Reid's hand, his hand practically enveloping Reid's, Reid was looking down at where their skin was touching. Dave had expected an expression of discomfort or even anxiety, but instead found that Reid was focused and almost curious. When the detective moved away, greeting the rest of the team as he ran through what had already been found, Reid had stayed put, the fingers of his other hand coming up to touch the hand that had been held. His hands clasped together for a moment, mimicking the way the detective had held Reid's hand, before something that the detective was saying caught Reid's attention and he bounded into the conversation in a flurry of statistics and facts.
Dave watched Reid even more carefully after that, noting how Reid accepted the occasional hand on the shoulder from Morgan, or the rarer embrace from Garcia. After each, Reid would pause and seem to process the contact. Whether Reid was simply storing the memory of the touch away somewhere in his incredible mind, or something more complicated, Dave could only guess.
After learning a little more about Reid's family and upbringing, Dave made the connections easily enough. Lack of social skills, or at least social skills that weren't useful in catching serial killers, unstable family and educational environment, and an inability to settle in where he could make more connections outside of a select few people had probably left Reid with very few opportunities to learn how to initiate physical contact or encounter situations where physical contact was appropriate. The isolation had probably only been increased due to the age difference between him and his peers both academically and professionally.
Touch deprivation, or skin hunger as he'd seen it called in more recent literature, was something that Dave was only starting to understand. Between his last divorce and coming back to the FBI, he'd found himself alone more often than he'd been since his first time as a profiler, and even more so sometimes. Now that he'd gotten more adjusted to working with a team he wouldn't go back to the lone-wolf style hunting for anything, but it still meant that their trips were short and frequent leaving them little time to have anything resembling a settled life in their homes near Quantico and no opportunity to make connections in the places they visited. For someone like Reid, who went straight from university to the FBI Academy to the BAU, Dave imagined there had never been a chance for the kid to even try to have a relationship in which he'd feel comfortable giving and receiving touch.
There was a fairly simple solution to the problem, for both of them, and David implemented it immediately. He got to know Reid a little better, though it was usually a task all of itself to get Reid off whatever subject had grabbed his attention after he'd swallowed and regurgitated a fact book on it and talk about himself for a change, and he started sitting next to him on the jet or during meetings. He partnered up with Reid more often, which was usually accomplished by standing close to Reid while Hotch was handing out assignments and by making it clear that he didn't mind partnering with the kid.
The physical touch aspect of his pet project he initiated slowly, starting with the gentle knee nudges and hands on the shoulder that he'd seen Morgan supply on occasion. Dave invited Reid over for dinner a few times, taking the opportunity to touch Reid's hand when passing things across the table or when instructing him in how to properly sauté onions. On these occasions Reid had looked at Dave, not quite frowning but with a sense of unsettled curiosity that left Dave even more sure that he was doing the right thing if Reid wasn't comfortable having dinner with someone. And, it was nice for Dave, if he was being completely honest with himself; someone in the kitchen with him and someone to talk with about their day was something that he was only starting to realize how much he'd relied on having.
About a month after Rossi had put his plan into action, determined that he would help Reid with his craving for physical touch, they had a case that left everyone hurting and unsettled. The physical damage was the least of it, Morgan with burn marks up the side of his arm and Prentiss with an ugly gash on her forehead, but everyone was out of the emergency room within a few hours if still shaken from the explosion. But watching an unsub kill himself and two hostages while the team stood helpless had taken a toll on all of them. Their victories were always diminished by the lives that had already been lost before they were called in and an outright defeat was always bad for morale.
Reid had withdrawn almost as soon as they were certain that Morgan and Prentiss were alright, the rest of the team standing in a waiting room at the hospital. Hotch and JJ had hurried away after they'd received the news, ready to help the local police department handle the rest of the situation. When Dave looked around the room he found Reid standing tucked away in a corner, his arms wrapped tightly around his torso and his expression fixed. The self-hug that Reid was giving himself was painful for Dave to watch and he walked over, intent on providing the comfort that Reid so clearly needed. Reid's body was rigid when Dave wrapped his arms around him and all the muscles in Reid's back and shoulders seemed to tighten and close in on themselves as Dave pulled him closer and held on.
Dave waited patiently, hoping that Reid would eventually relax and accept the hug and comfort that was being offered, but when Reid used his arms that were still trapped in between their bodies to hesitantly increase the space between them Dave took the hint and released him. Reid's expression was almost a caricature of alarm and discomfort and when Reid looked away as he mumbled something about going to check on Morgan, Dave stepped aside and let him pass. When Reid continued to avoid him on the flight home, instead sitting next to Hotch and peppering him with questions about a case that Hotch had worked as an attorney on, Dave decided that he'd moved too quickly and should have gone for an arm around Reid's shoulder instead of a full hug.
Two days later, when JJ summoned them all up to the conference room with her arms full of files, it was readily apparent that Reid was now actively avoiding Dave. Reid, who usually barely seemed to notice where he sat, had darted to take the empty chair between Morgan and Hotch, causing Prentiss to change her trajectory so she was sitting next to Dave instead. The way Reid was effectively using Morgan as a barrier was not lost on Morgan, who was looking at Dave with suspicion. Dave suppressed a sigh and looked over the materials that JJ had provided and listened as the team came up with a preliminary profile and strategy.
They left the conference room thirty minutes later with instructions to be ready for wheels up in an hour and Dave followed Morgan and Reid out. Morgan was quietly speaking to Reid, using his elbow to gently nudge him a few times before placing his hand on Reid's shoulder. Reid looked up at that and Dave couldn't miss the relieved smile if he'd tried. Dave stood at the railing for a minute, watching as they went back to their desks and tried to figure out how exactly he'd misread the situation so completely. When he looked up, he found Hotch watching him from his office door and Dave gave him a nod of acknowledgement. Hotch waited a moment, his eyes fixed on Dave, before returning the nod and disappearing into his office.
Dave looked down again to where Reid was at his desk going over the contents of his work satchel, seemingly content to chat with Morgan from across the aisle. Whatever Reid said made Morgan break out into a grin and toss something from his desk across the space between them, it hitting Reid harmlessly in the arm and falling to the floor. Reid made a token complain and they both laughed and Dave walked away, going over in his mind the contact he'd had with Reid as he tried to decide where he should go from here.
It wasn't until three days later in Sante Fe, Dave nearly knee deep in mud and carnage, that he thought to factor his own motivation into the situation. As he stared at the dump site with pieces falling into place, he realized that he'd not only solved the case but he'd found the solution to his own question: he didn't like the answer to either.
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